KumQuiz: Does the girl across the hall want the D?

Yo, man, do you think that cute girl from across the hall wants the D? Take this quiz to find out. 

1. Does she live on your floor? 


Do we even have to ask any more questions? She wants the D, plain and simple.


Separation makes the heart grow founder.

2. Does she seem uncomfortable in your presence?


It must be your beaming confidence leaving her helpless at the very sight of you.


It must be your beaming confidence and approachability bringing out the best in her.

3. Does she wear short skirts/high waisted shorts?


Yup, she’s practically asking for it!


She’s probably a little more on the reserved side. This is going to mean a little more work on your part. Maybe she just gets nervous when you’re around and wants to feel a bit more comfortable in her own skin—a good sign. 

4. Does she seem weird whenever her boyfriend comes to visit?


Hmm, sounds like she doesn’t want him to sense the connection you two have.


Sounds like this guy is BORING and she’s longing to leave for something more unstable and exciting.

5. If you asked her to come into your dorm room to show her your collection of toenail clippings, she would say….

(A) “Oh my, I thought you would never ask! Take me! Be gentle, but don’t be afraid to be firm! My love, you have me at last!”

BINGO, BABY! You’re in! Don’t forget the number one rule: always kiss the neck!

(B) “Umm, maybe another time, I didn’t realize how mysterious you were…there’s something about you that I can’t just put my finger on, here’s my phone number.”

Dude, that’s step 1. Keep up the good work, stay coy, stay vigilant. 

(C) “Sure, what the fuck else am I going to do with myself tonight? Ugh, I can’t believe my tall, handsome boyfriend dumped me! I can’t wait to talk to you all about him…”

Oof, sounds like the FRIENDZONE to me. Show her your sensitive side, keep an open ear, this could lead to some very pathetic behavior on your part. But hey, girls love vulnerable guys! 

(D) “Christ, how many times do I have to tell you? Please leave me alone, you freak. I know you spend your entire Friday night looking through your peephole waiting to see if I come home with a guy. I know all about the weird sexual fantasies you’ve written about me. I’m this close to transferring rooms. Get it through your thick skull, pervert, I don’t want to have anything to do with you!” 

Ever heard the expression “cruel to be kind?” This is a textbook case. Be persistent, maybe even bring that good old collection of yours to her!

ANSWER: YES! Dude, I told you. She WANTS the D and she wants it bad. Good work, man.

Guy Invites Girl To Party After More Than 50 People Have RSVP’d On Facebook

Strategically planned love was in the air this week when sophomore Brendan Slater casually invited a female classmate to a house party—but only after waiting for the minimum 50 people to RSVP.  Fewer than that quota would automatically make the party “lame as hell,” according to Slater.

“Less than fifty means the basement won’t be crowded enough and she won’t wanna make out,” Slater elaborated. “Also, the DJ will probably suck. And the beer. And there won’t be any hot girls there.”

When reminded that he was already trying to court his female classmate, Slater replied, “Oh, right.”

When the time came to seal the deal, Slater resorted to inboxing his lady friend on Facebook because he “didn’t exactly have her number yet.”

Slater has been rejected from twelve different fraternities over two separate rush seasons, but “is totally gonna crush that shit next year.”