Study Shows: Sliders Patties 50% Beef, 32% Corn Syrup, 18% Freshmen

A recent study conducted by Undergraduates For A Better Eating Experience found that Sliders Patties are made with 50 percent beef, 32 percent corn syrup and 18 percent freshmen.

Sliders’ head fry cook Chuck Braun, who conceptualized the recipe when he was only a delivery boy, said the idea came to him ten years ago during his sophomore year at Syracuse University. “I was mooing at a group freshmen leaving my dorm, when I realized the obvious solution to the rising beef costs at Sliders,” Braun said. “Instead of mooing at the freshman, I could use them as meat.”

Shipping beef can get costly, and the price of cow has been steadily rising since the destigmatization of mad cow disease in the late 1990s. But since Sliders’ recent partnership with Theta Chi, they now receive 30 percent of the profit of open parties and 100 percent of the freshmen. “The economic and flavor values were too good to overlook,” Braun said.

Though the meat is more tender in freshmen without alcohol in their systems, the recent renovation of the Carnegie hall doors forced Braun to explore other trapping methods. He has had the highest success rates through his partnership with Theta Chi, as well as at local slaughterhouse DJ’s. In August and early September, when lanyard sales are up, Braun looks forward to yet again being able to trap the juiciest meat of the newly migrated cattle.

“The trade was quantity for quality, really. I’m looking to expand my recipe to supermarkets and am going to need patties to sell,” said Braun. “Pinterest has been duplicating our recipe for years, but they never get the right amount of corn syrup.”