From rappers to college soccer players, it happens to the best of us—one minute you’re having a great time with your friends, the next you’re screaming racist and homophobic slurs into the night. So before you have your next bigot-oopsy, read these 10 foolproof ways to make sure it doesn’t end up on camera.
1. Camera’s on? Stop saying f*ggot-a** n*gger.
2. Camera’s on? Don’t say anything that rhymes with f*ggot-*a** n*gger.
3. Camera’s on? As a precaution, don’t think the words f*ggot-*a** n*gger.
4. Camera’s on? Before you speak, think: “Is there a chance my mother will see this?”
5. Camera’s on? Before you speak, think: “Is there any chance Bleacher Report will be reporting on this?”
6. Develop a healthy sense of white guilt.
7. Fein tourettes!
8. If the temptation is just too hard to resist, scream f*ggot-*a** n*gger into your pillow every night before you say your prayers.
9. If that doesn’t get it out of your system, write f*ggot-*a** n*gger in your notebook 20 times, crumble that paper into a ball, and throw that ball at a random passerby.
10. And if that doesn’t work, just cut off your tongue. This way you’ll never utter the words f*ggot-*a** n*gger again.