20 Things We’re OBSESSED About Queen Jen Bundy

Everyone loves campus’s new it girl Queen Jen Bundy, but here are 20 facts about our queen we just can’t stop obsessing about:

  1. Jen Bundy only buys blu-ray DVDS.
  2. Jen Bundy only uses mechanical pencils.
  3. Jen Bundy pisses rose petals.
  4. Jen Bundy’s shorts never go above her knees.
  5. Jen Bundy knows cursive.
  6. Jen Bundy is still in contact with her fourth grade teacher.
  7. Jen Bundy doesn’t need shoelaces, she wears velcro shoes!
  8. Jen Bundy steams vegetables in her armpits.
  9. Jen Bundy always finishes her dinner before she has dessert.
  10. Jen Bundy plays drums on expert when she plays Rock Band.
  11. Jen Bundy has 20/20 vision.
  12. Jen Bundy once nursed malnourished black squirrel back to life.
  13. Jen Bundy NEVER has to reset Air Orange X. Air Orange X would NEVER do that to Jen.
  14. Jen Bundy always makes complete stops.
  15. Jen Bundy bakes cookies for your grandmother.
  16. Jen Bundy only eats organic.
  17. Jen Bundy collect rocks.
  18. Jen Bundy is still the top seller of girl scout cookies in our country.
  19. Jen Bundy was trained as an air bender.
  20. Jen Bundy can’t be tamed.

Our Queen Jen Bundy: She’s Just Like Us!

We LOVE our reigning Queen Jen Bundy. She’s a student, a friend, and also a queen! But don’t stay up all night worrying how you will never measure up. Jen Bundy is really just like you!


1. She wears orange!

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Jen Bundy is really good friends with Otto. She loves coming to sports events and supporting our teams. She rules over Orange Nation with dignity and grace.


2. She plays sports! 


Jen Bundy understands the importance of physical activity. She does 30 minutes of cardio every day.


3. She goes out for drinks! (Don’t worry, she’s legal!) 



After getting all her homework done and making her bed, Jen Bundy always makes time to grab a drink on the weekend. She loves socializing with peasants. Look out for her on her throne at Chucks!


4. She gets silly with her friends! 


This girl knows how to work hard and play hard! Look at her being super goofy with her gal pal. You just know these ladies are BFFs.


5. She bleeds!


Jen Bundy bleeds red, just like you or me. She’s not a robot—she’s a real girl!


Except for one thing…

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Jen Bundy does everything with divine providence from God himself. The sooner you realize this the better. As Homecoming Queen she is your ruler, your Goddess, your highness. Everything you do now, you do for her, in the name of her, because you love her. Just like your Grandmother loves God. It is great that you can relate to Jen Bundy but don’t forget your place. Jen can and will crush you. She rules with an iron first. She plays by her own rules: No Mercy.