EXCLUSIVE: Kenan Thompson to Announce Presidential Bid at Family Weekend Standup Set

Students are buzzing over Kenan Thompson’s scheduled appearance at Syracuse University’s Goldstein Auditorium on Sept. 25.

But little do they know that Thompson’s antics have just begun.

For years, Thompson has been a staple of our screens, mastering the role of ‘The Funny Token Black Guy’ on “Saturday Night Live.” But now, Thompson wants to go beyond being ‘The Funny Token Black Guy’, and strives to be just ‘The Serious Token Black Guy.’

How will he attain this serious image? He will follow the examples set by media icons Donald Trump, the MacAfee guy and Kanye West. He will run for President of the United States.

We should expect Thompson to inform us of this groundbreaking announcement during his standup show during Family Weekend, The Kumquat has learned.

Sources within Thompson’s inner circle, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, revealed to The Kumquat some components of Thompson’s platform, which will run on the statement, “What Up with That?”

Kim Davis refusing to give same-sex couples marriage licenses: What up with that?

Income inequality: What up with that?

Police brutality: What up with that?

Thompson is the only candidate not afraid to see these issues, and ask, what exactly is up with them.

In office, he plans to utilize his famous impressions of Steve Harvey, Reverend Al Sharpton, Alex Treblack, Martin Luther King Jr, and yes, even Bill Cosby, to look at issues from different perspectives, sources within Thompson’s campaign said.

So when you cast a vote for Thompson, you are not just voting for one guy, but for all 108 of his impressions.

“He’s the kind of president who will be able to tell a burger apart from a Good Burger. That is what’s going put Thompson in the White House,” a source within Thompson’s campaign said.