Yesterday, hundred of thousands of people flocked to New York City to join the People’s Climate March. While that’s all well and good for some, The Kumquat likes to look at the bright side. Climate change doesn’t have to be all bad. Just look at this list of ten gross species that climate change is going to do away with for good!
1. Polar Bears
NOPE. Try again, polar bears. We’re done with you.
2. Black Rhino
Thanks, but no thanks, Rhino. Run the other way.
3. Poison Dart Frog
Off my planet, you poisonous little bastard.
4. Laysan Duck
Quack, quack, die.
5. American Hart’s Tongue Fern
There’s only room on this planet for one of us, American Hart’s Tongue Fern.
6. Yangtze Finless Porpoise
Yeah…we liked you better when you had fins.
7. Bluefin Tuna
We’re going to have to ask you to leave. Sorry not sorry, tuna.
8. Hawaiian Coot
Nuh-uh…No, thank you.
9. Paramecium Bursaria
Fuck this guy.